From the Pastoral Team

Our once predictable world, where we mostly relied on textbooks to provide our learning, has turned into an information highway with torrents of incoming alerts, notifications and messages to make sense of. No wonder our young people may feel overwhelmed, often distracted and accustomed to having information at their fingertips.

I felt overwhelmed when I Googled ‘teenage advice blogs’, and 70 of the Best Teen Blogs and websites appeared on my screen. Some of the titles included Teen Vogue, Help Your Teen Now, The Untamed Optimist, and TeenSpeak, to name a few.

I tried to imagine my thirteen-year-old self searching for answers and whether I could safely discern what would be factually correct and age-appropriate healthy advice. Our young people can search for any information and connect with whomever they want online, as this is the nature of modern technology and social media. In our day, it took some effort to connect with a pen pal and what was written was vetted by an adult on most accounts.

Parents should take an interest in knowing their daughter’s friends, their online activity and who they are talking to and spending time with. Netsafe has a range of resources to educate and equip parents to deal with challenges young people face, and some of the key challenges every parent should know about are:

• Online bullying
• Unwanted contact
• Social media
• Sexting
• Inappropriate content

Read more about these online challenges.

We should endeavour to invest in our young people, provide them with support and firm boundaries, and have high expectations of following the rules that have been put in place to support and care for them. Creating a predictable environment where they feel comfortable seeking our advice and having open conversations is imperative to building trusting relationships.

In THE WHOLEHEARTED PARENTING MANIFESTO, renowned author Brené Brown ends with these words for her child.

I will not teach or love or show you anything perfectly, but I will let you see me, and I will always hold sacred the gift of seeing you. TRULY, DEEPLY, SEEING YOU.

Let us aspire to get to know our young people and understand their world. Let us truly seek them out and see their wonderous, unleashed potential. What a privilege to be given the treasured gift of journeying alongside our girls and showing them accountability and respect.

Brene Brown’s Parenting Manifesto

THE WHOLEHEARTED PARENTING MANIFESTO

• Above all else, I want you to know that you are LOVED AND LOVABLE. You will learn this from my words and actions-the lessons on love are in how I treat you and how I treat myself.
• I want you to engage with the world from a place of worthiness. You will learn that YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVE, BELONGING, AND JOY every time you see me practice
• self-compassion and embrace my own imperfections.
• We will practice COURAGE in our family by showing up, letting ourselves be seen, and honouring vulnerability. We will share our stories of struggle and strength. There will always be room in our home for both.
• We will teach you compassion by practicing COMPASSION with ourselves first; then with each other. We will set and respect BOUNDARIES; we will honor hard work, hope, and perseverance.
• REST AND PLAY will be family values, as well as family practices.
• You will learn ACCOUNTABILITY AND RESPECT by watching me make mistakes and make amends and by watching how I ask for what I need and talk about how I feel.
• I want you to know JOY, so together we will practice GRATITUDE.
• I want you to feel joy, so together, WE WILL LEARN HOW TO BE VULNERABLE.
• When uncertainty and scarcity visit, you will be able to draw from the SPIRIT that is a part of our everyday life.
• Together we will cry and face fear and grief. I will want to take away your pain, but instead
• I will sit with you and TEACH YOU HOW TO FEEL IT.
• We will LAUGH AND SING AND DANCE AND CREATE. We will always have permission to be ourselves with each other. NO MATTER WHAT, YOU WILL ALWAYS BELONG HERE.
• As you begin your Wholehearted journey, the greatest gift that I can give to you is to live AND LOVE WITH MY WHOLE HEART and to dare greatly.
• I will not teach or love or show you anything perfectly, but I will let you see me, and I will always hold sacred the gift of seeing you. TRULY, DEEPLY, SEEING YOU.

From Daring Greatly by Brené Brown Copyright 2020 Brené Brown, LLC.