You only borrow good people

The end of the school year is upon us and I give you all my aroha and heartfelt thanks for making my first year at WC very special. The boys have been a privilege to serve and an absolute joy to be around. Listening to their stories, hopes, dreams, and aspirations is an honour. A group of incredible staff also serves us. Thank you to them for all they do for our boys. I want to thank those staff members who are leaving us to continue their careers elsewhere. Huge aroha for the new adventure that lies ahead of you. As my Mum would say, "You only borrow good people."

The annual Year 9 Shakespeare Festival was exceptional. I had never heard of a school having the entire Year 9 cohort perform adaptations of Shakespeare. Each play was unique and the quality of acting and interpretations was outstanding. I enjoyed Richard III with the Blockbuster theme, immensely. Its first few lines are fabulous, "Now is the winter of our discontent. Made glorious summer by this sun of York. And all the clouds that lour'd upon our house in the deep bosom of the ocean buried". Humble thanks to our brilliant English Faculty and all staff who helped with costumes and backstage work, but most importantly, to our fabulous boys who threw themselves into the productions with verve and passion.

My time, so far, at Wellington College, can be summed up in a single interaction. This morning, I was at the front of the school welcoming our boys to school, when it started to rain. I had forgotten my umbrella and was walking back up the drive. One of our boys ran up behind me and said, "Sir, we can share my umbrella." It was an enormously kind and thoughtful gesture. I said, "Thank you so much but you use it, I'm too big to fit under it. I'll be okay." He put the umbrella in my hand and said, "You take it, Sir, I'll pick it up from your office later." He sprinted up the driveway to school.

I have no doubts at all that this young man would have offered this to anyone who was caught in the rain. He came by my office to collect his umbrella and I got to thank him. He said, "It's all good Sir. I'm young and fast and I can get out of the rain quickly!" I said, "Thank you from someone who is old and slow and would have been drenched by the time I got inside the school."

We shook hands and off he went.

There are people, like this young man, who provide us with a metaphoric 'umbrella' in life when we need it most. Respite, a pause, a hand on the shoulder, a word of support and comfort. They are all umbrellas for those who need them. I share this with you as we approach Christmas. It seems cliché to remind us all to stay connected and also to reconnect with friends and loved ones that we haven't seen for some time. My older brother turned 60 years old last Wednesday. I gave him a call and realised that I don't talk to him enough, let alone tell him that I love him. 10 years ago he said something to me that I hold close. I was living in England and he said, "Brother, how many times do you think you'll see Mum before she dies?" I said, rather angrily, "That's a stupid question (as I felt guilty immediately). Why are you asking?" He said, "She's 81 years old now and you're living in the UK. How often are you calling and checking on her, or writing to her? She's not going to be here forever. You need to think about that and plan some time at 'home'." Big brother telling little brother some home truths. When I hung up I realised that if I went home (to New Zealand), once every two years, I might only see her four or five more times. That was incredibly sobering for me. I then made sure that I called her twice a week. She said, after a couple of months, "Boy, haven't you got other things to do than call your Mum. I'm busy".

As it turned out, I saw her once more before she died. We did a lot in 10 days. She dragged me around Dunedin to see her mates, sit on the Araiteuru marae, and make tea for people. When I was making the tea, my Aunty Frankie gave me a hand. She said, "Honey, people like their tea in lots of different ways. Some like to leave the bag in the cup to make it strong, others like to dip it into the cup for a few seconds, some like Earl Grey, and some like Yorkshire Breakfast. If you find out what tea they like and how they like their tea, they will be a friend for life. Do you know what I mean?" I said, "Yes, Aunty Frankie, if I take the time to get to know someone and what they need, we will be friends for life." She said, "That's good, son, but no, I just meant that you're not very good at making tea!" Love my Aunty Frankie.

I had a prefect at one of the schools I ran in London. She was fabulous. Her name was Abosede Musa. When I first met her, she told me that her name meant 'child born on a Sunday'. I remember her telling the other prefects that it was rude to ask people what they do for a job. She said we have to ask them where they are from as we might be able to make a connection. Before our school broke up for the December holidays, the prefects were all talking about what they were hoping to get for Christmas. PlayStation, concert tickets, a new bike, etc. Abosede said, "I don't want any material things, I'm going to train my mind to be stronger than my emotions!" I said, "Wow that's amazing. Why are you doing that?" She said, "I get vexed (upset, angry) Sir, and I get caught up with my emotions and then everything turns bad. If I can't control my mouth, I won't be able to control my future." Abosede managed to control both and she ended up with a First Class honours degree in Communications When I last heard from her she was working in communications at the BBC. That was maybe the best Christmas present I've ever heard of.

I wish you well for the weeks ahead and I'm looking forward to seeing our boys in the New Year. I am hoping that you all will be surrounded by loved ones over the holiday break and that you will have a go at something new and rekindle something old.

I leave you with Abosede's words of wisdom. Our school was in Croydon and it had been snowing so there were a number of us outside, prefects and staff, pushing cars that had slid onto the footpath and across the road. We went back inside when school started and we were freezing. My PA had made hot chocolates and I stood up to thank everyone. Abosede stood up in front of me and in a loud voice said, "Before Sir speaks, I just want to say that you don't have to wait for it to snow before you go out and give someone a push in the right direction!" I looked at Abosede. She looked back at me and whispered, "I think that says it all Sir." I sat back down, without saying a word, and sipped my hot chocolate. I had the biggest smile on my face as I thought to myself; this job is the best in the World!

Happy Christmas.

Receive the light and pass it on

Glen Denham
Headmaster