Struggle unites us all

Wellington College celebrated Pride Week along with all schools in New Zealand. Stories were shared nationwide from our LGBTQ+ community.

The telling of these stories is crucial in allowing us to connect to a journey and expand our own understanding of the world and those around us. At WC we raised the Pride flag on Monday and our beautiful Wonderwall was opened today. Thank you so much to our whānau at Resene Paints for their koha of $700 worth of paint. I thank all staff and students that were involved in a great week.

In a previous position I had two students who were siblings and both played basketball. They played in the same team but only had one pair of basketball boots between them. They had to share. The boots were the correct size for one of them and half a size too big for the other. They therefore couldn't play together on the court at the same time. When they were subbed off, one gave the boots to the other. When I heard about this I immediately rang the family and said I would be more than happy to buy boots for each of them. Their Mum said, “Thank you so much, but the success is in the struggle." It took me a while to process this… the success is in the struggle.

Mum explained that they were saving and working for another pair of boots and that they were happy playing this way for now. They both wanted to earn it. They would appreciate it more.

To be grateful for what they have now and to be working for something better in the future. An ethos that all of us can live by? It was very humbling and an absolute privilege to know this family.

Struggle unites us all. Whether it be poverty, education, inequity of resources, gender bias, parenting, family issues, friendship groups or ethnicity. We have all struggled. We have all had those feelings of isolation, loneliness, hopelessness, powerlessness, and being unheard or unseen. It's this struggle that unites us all. We have all, at some stage in our lives, been at the margins so we can all understand. I thank everyone in our WC community that has helped build this understanding and aroha, and are prepared to listen without judgement.

I recommend Paul McGee’s book ‘S. U. M. O’ (Shut Up, Move On). He talks about two people looking at the same beach ball from opposite sides. Although they are ostensibly looking at the same object, one sees blue, white and green on the ball while the other sees red, orange and yellow. It's when we start to ask questions that the ball starts to turn and we get to see someone else’s perspective. Seeking first to understand holds all of us in great stead.

"Did we win, Sir?"

We were hosted brilliantly by one of our brother schools, St Pat's Silverstream, at the annual traditional. St Pat's took the day with two wins and a draw. The 1st XV game was incredible. Stream won on the last play of the game, which was well deserved.

On my return to school one of our boys said, "Did we win Sir?" I said, "It was a brilliant day, everyone had a great time, and the games were fantastic." He looked at me and said, "Oh we lost."

I was very proud of all of our teams and supporters and I was very proud of the way our boys handled losing. Character is revealed in how we win but most importantly how we lose.

Years ago I was playing basketball for New Zealand and we lost a heart- breaker to Australia in the last 10 seconds. There were only a couple of points in it. I was inconsolable. My Mum came down onto the court and said "Son, get your head up, you didn't lose. You were given three gifts today. Those Aussies just helped build your resolve, your commitment and your character. You will be a better player and a better person for today. It's a blessing. Be thankful!"

The success is in the struggle. Be grateful for what I have and keep working for something better in the future. Thanks Mum.

Receive the light and pass it on.

Glen Denham
Headmaster