Educational Psychologist, Shane Stevenson, ran the first of his three sessions in his parenting teens seminars on Saturday 1st May, Raising Responsible Teenagers. Despite being the last weekend of the holidays, it was well attended by interested parents

Shane gave some very practical advice and insights into the challenges of the teenage years , for both the [parents and the teenagers themselves. Shane noted that at the same time as teenagers are trying to pull away and become independent they are also looking really closely at their parents for the cues on how to become a functioning and responsible adult. Shane echoed the comments of Nathan Wallis in that the teenage brain is a bit like living in a house that is being renovated, never knowing what room is being worked on.

Shane had some great ideas of how to manage this apparent contradiction of wanting to be different and like you at the same time, and ultimately come out of the renovations as a responsible teenager.

Shane has considerable experience and knowledge in working teenagers, as well as having been a trainer for the Triple P teen programme that he was running people through.

Triple P identifies six key elements that are important for teenagers to develop into mature young adults and healthy family members.

• Being involved in family decision making
• Being respectful and considerate
• Being involved in family activities
• Developing a healthy lifestyle
• Being reliable
• Being assertive.

There are two more sessions of the programme still to run. Having been involved in the earlier session is not essential, and many useful tips can be picked up by going along.

The next session, Raising Competent Teenagers is on Saturday 22nd May at Greymouth High. It is then followed by Getting Teenagers Connected on 12th June.

For more information contact WestREAP 0800 927327

If you need assistance with travel, please contact Peter Brailsford, Westland High School

Tip#1 to Raising Responsible Teenagers. Involving them in family decision-making

Get your teenagers to take part in family decisions. Teenagers need to learn how to make good decisions so it is good to involve them in the family decision making process.

Hold a family meeting. Choose a time that suits everyone when people aren't rushed or tired. The decisions don’t have to be big ones, they can be things that can have positive benefits for them; deciding on what movie to watch, what meals to cook, the plans for the holidays or weekend. Deciding who will do what chores (potentially giving them a choice of what they will do, and their commitment to doing them). If they chose not to participate they might find that they have to live with decisions that they could have had a say in.

When they get good at the meetings then it’s much easier to discuss bigger questions like what school they go to, what subjects they might do, or moving to a new house.