Words are one of the most powerful tools we have. They can bring great happiness, give courage and strength and inspire millions. BUT they can also be destructive when used thoughtlessly, ignorantly, in anger or intentionally as a weapon.

As adults it is important that we model the way to use words to maximise the positives, and defuse the potential hurts. Often children have little idea of how powerful words can be, or how the body language and tone can change the impact of a phrase.

When things get heated it is easy to flare up and respond with words with a real sting in their tail. . . . Result : the heat gets hotter, and folks get burnt.

So how about making a conscious effort, when things get heated, do what we would do with any (potential) burn . . . apply a salve . . . gently, softly and calmly.  Much less likely to leave scars as well :)  As we all know some scars are hard to see but are very much permanent and disfiguring.

Buzzfeed reported that the “Crumpled Paper Lesson” started with a teacher in New York who handed out a piece of paper to each student in her class, and then asked them to crumple it up and step on it and basically make it as scrunched as possible without ripping it.

After that, she asked each child to unfold their sheet, smooth it out, and try to get it to look as crisp and fresh as it did before they started the exercise. Of course everyone’s sheet of paper stayed creased and crappy.

Then, the teacher asked the kids to apologize to the paper.

They did, and she pointed out that even though they said they were sorry, the creases still didn’t come out, no matter how hard they tried to fix them.

And that is exactly what happens when one's words tear others down. You might not be able to see it on the outside, but all those crumples stay with them on the inside. These are the long term scars that can last for life.

Wouldn't be great if we all kept the presence of mind to STOP,  'play out, in our head, what we are going to say and, how we are going to say it, BEFORE we say a word out loud. It's like the ultimate 'thinking before speaking' mind sieve! 

I know that can be a real challenge even as an adult - imagine how hard it is for our children. Be patient as you support the practise and embedding this important social and emotional growth.

As always I am happy to discuss any points raised in this article. My intention is never to preach or criticise, rather it is to provoke discussion and thinking.

Ka kite ano

ja:)