Justin’s talk was based on his book, “9 Ways to a Resilient Child” and was full of insights and ideas.

Resilience is often defined as one’s ability, after adversity, to “bounce back” but Dr Coulson challenges this idea. He says that resilience is not simply “bouncing back” but about learning from hardship. We are never exactly the same after a period of challenge but how we can adapt and learn from what we’ve been through as we move forward.

Dr Coulson had a number of great suggestions for nurturing resilience in our children. In his study of over 40,000 children, he found that the most resilient young people have a strong sense of identity. They know who they are and possess a strong sense of family identity. This got me thinking, how well do my own children know our family stories?

Justin promotes a scale called the Do You Know Scale by Marshall Duke and Robyn Fivush. This is a list of 20 family narrative questions. Although this knowledge helps form a sense of self, it is not so much the knowing of family stories that help build resilience but the connection formed with family members when they pass down these stories.

Here are the first ten questions. A quick google search will find the entire Do You Know Scale.

Do you know how your parents met?
Do you know where your mother grew up?
Do you know where your father grew up?
Do you know where some of your grandparents grew up?
Do you know where some of your grandparents met?
Do you know where your parents were married?
Do you know what went on when you were being born?
Do you know the source of your name?
Do you know some things about what happened when your brothers or sisters were being born?
Do you know which person in your family you look most like?

Maybe you’ll join me this weekend in asking your children if they know some of these things about our families. Hopefully, we’ll all have a few laughs and our children will learn something new!

Do Hattie and Oscar Compton-Moen know how their parents met late last millennium?

Next Monday, the Middle School is hosting another event in their speaker series with a panel of experts discussing topics particularly relevant to tweens and teenagers everyone is welcome to join us this Monday, 15 August to hear from our Middle School Panel Guidance team. Community Constable Loren Marley and counsellors from our SMC Health Centre will be covering hot topics such as vaping, social media, alcohol and mindfulness. This is a question and answers session so bring us your questions and hear what you need to know from our experts.

You can register here https://www.trybooking.co.nz/LFH

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