Last Word

We don’t get out of life alive. So why spend so much time overthinking, over analyzing and most of the time, not making the most of what life has to offer.

Over the summer holidays, I spent 3 weeks without my phone or anybody I knew in a little place called Anakiwa at the top of the South Island. I went on a course called Outward Bound, which taught me the value of not getting things right and pushing beyond your comfort zone.

Here at St Hilda’s, we can tend to put a pressure on ourselves to get everything perfect: put together effortlessly, above average grades, excelling in sport and a full social calendar. This strive for success is a good thing, but to a point. When things aren't going to plan and we aren't mastering something first go, we can tend to give up because it seems better to not do something than to be seen to be failing at it. We are scared of judgement from our friends, family and teachers. Sometimes we don’t even take up opportunities, because they involve too high a risk of failing. This can involve learning a new sport as a 16 year old, when everybody else has been playing for years or joining a club that you are passionate about without your friends.

David Goggans, a former Navy seal and now ultramarathon runner, wisely said that "we lose much by fearing to attempt". This fear of judgement around trying new things or being seen to be ‘different’ prevents us from being better people. On the course I learnt how reframe failure. This was by saying to yourself, "you only failed if you stopped trying, otherwise you just found another way that didn’t work". With every way that you discover doesn’t work, you inch closer to success (as you are equipped with more knowledge and experience).

I learnt this while I was sitting at the top of a rapid, waiting for my turn to face the white water. All I could see was water gushing over these rocks or in other words, I saw a high possibility of failing. My mind was holding me back and telling me to quit. I might flip over and fail in front of my teammates. But I reminded myself that I didn’t really have anything to lose, the worst thing that could happen is that my ego is a bit battered after emerging from the water like a gasping fish. When I didn’t view flipping over as failure, I feared the rapid a lot less. Even going back for a second go, just to prove to myself the benefits of pushing past this mental barrier. The more time we spend overthinking and fearing things like rapids, the less likely we are to succeed, as we have wasted energy that should have gone into actually doing it.

There is power in doing things wrong. You can’t learn your times tables without getting 6x7 wrong for a year prior. Which I now know is 42, don’t worry. We are amazing at making mistakes and giving everything a go as children, but beyond then we like to stay with what we know, inside that trusty comfort zone. Being bold enough to commit to something new and learn from your mistakes is a success within itself. You are choosing to challenge yourself and are not following the crowd down the easy, well worn path. People around you will see this and respect you for it, not to mention the self-respect and confidence you gain.

So don’t wait for something to change in your life, feel the fear and do it anyway, don’t worry about being perfect or fitting in. You aren’t going to get out of life alive, so make the most of it before you start regretting all the things you didn’t do. Remember, it is better to be an oops than a what if.